Judge (looking at a familiar thief): "You? When I was a lawyer, you stole a bicycle. When I became a government lawyer, you stole a motorcycle.
And when I came here as a judge, you stole the car."
The criminal said very politely, "Dear Sir! Like you, I too, have been promoted."
Judge: "Why did you put a hand in his pocket?"
Criminal: "Yes, it was cold."